BBC Sports Personality of the Year: Not just for sporting achievement.
After a year of unmitigated success for British sportsmen and women, thoughts inevitably turn to the highlight of the sporting calendar, the BBC Sports Personality of the Year award. This annual event gives the nation a chance to indulge itself in reliving the glorious triumphs of the past year from a host of British superstars. 2006 will be no different as a long list of champions do battle for the public vote and the ultimate prize in sport (apart from winning actual sporting contests).
This year the likes of gymnast (or possibly swimmer) Beth Twaddle, cricketer Monty Panesar and F1 driver Jenson Bottom will fight it out for the famed prize. The live show will once again be hosted by BBC stalwarts Steve Ryder and Sue Barker, ably supported by popular junk food peddler, Gary Lineker.
Speaking from under his unwavering helmet of hair, Ryder dismissed claims that there were no outstanding candidates for the prize – "this year is stronger than ever. Who can forget the performance of Beth Piddle in the gymnastics, or possibly three day eventing, earlier in the year? And Monty Python proved once and for all that wearing a turban is no barrier to playing top class sport. Apart from swimming, I suppose".
Sue Ryder was equally scathing of those who felt that few British sports stars had achieved much of importance – "that’s just fucking bullshit," said the former tennis dollybird and Cliff Richard shag. "Jenson Buttock was only 78 points away from winning the F1 world championship this year and Darren Clarke’s wife died. This is world class in anyone’s book. And look at Zara Phillips; coming from her background it is incredible that she could be so horsey".
In an exciting development that really demonstrates the depth of British sporting talent, comedian David Baddiel is a contender for the award for managing to float across the channel. Some have suggested that a comedian winning the award would cheapen the event but Gary Lineker is dismissive of such a claim – "in global sporting terms, Baddiel’s swim is up there with anything that has happened in British sport this year. He fully deserves to be in contention for the award. Plus, he’s funny as piss, although not as funny as his fat mate, who is funnier than shite".
While it is true that British sport and entertainment have never been closely aligned, recent trends have seen that relationship change. The England football team’s performance in the World Cup was up there with the very best in comedy and recent England rugby performances have been close to broad farce. Many point to the crossover appeal of sportsmen and women who have moved into celebrity television in increasing numbers as a clear sign that sport is changing. Lineker, a well known user of prostitutes, talked of "the fantastic achievements of Razor Ruddock and Phil Tufnell" in the hit ITV show ‘I’m a Celebrity, Please Kill Me’ as a precursor to comedians moving the other way. "Now that sports stars are moving into celebrity roles, it’s only natural that celebrities will want to get in on the sporting act so Baddiel being up for this prize is just a sign of the changing times". The orange skinned adulterer reckons that "in ten years more than half the contenders for sports personality of the year will be comedians, actors and singers".
While the big guns such as Piddle, Python and Bottom are favourites, coming up on the rails as an outside bet is Bob Cooper who recently won the prestigious Rock, Paper, Scissors World Championship. As the first British RPS World Champion and the only British World Champion at any individual sport, many savvy insiders feel that he is a strong chance to win. Cooper, who trains for 2 hours a day to maintain his elite RPS conditioning, kept his composure in a cauldron-like atmosphere to win with a devestating rock, rock, paper combo sequence in front of a baying crowd of almost 100 to take the title.
The team award is likely to go to the Scottish Stone-Skimming squad although the recent success of the England rugby team against the South African 2nd XV has put them right in the frame as well.
Sue Ryder, looking good from very afar but very far from good, also expressed delight at this year’s Lifetime Achievement Award winner, Tanni Grey-Wheelchair. ‘It’s fantastic and will be the highlight of the evening. For the BBC it really ticks all the PC boxes and will keep mentalists and spackers well happy. Who can forget Tammy’s performances in the Special Olympics?’ These thoughts echo the BBC policy of employing people with a variety of disabilities in key, high profile positions; well known examples of this are football commentator John Motson who suffers from Moron's Disease and Garth Crooks, the popular football interviewer who has fought a long battle against Acute Twatism.
Whoever picks up the coveted awards it promises to be a special evening for British sport, which is in rude health indeed.
This year the likes of gymnast (or possibly swimmer) Beth Twaddle, cricketer Monty Panesar and F1 driver Jenson Bottom will fight it out for the famed prize. The live show will once again be hosted by BBC stalwarts Steve Ryder and Sue Barker, ably supported by popular junk food peddler, Gary Lineker.
Speaking from under his unwavering helmet of hair, Ryder dismissed claims that there were no outstanding candidates for the prize – "this year is stronger than ever. Who can forget the performance of Beth Piddle in the gymnastics, or possibly three day eventing, earlier in the year? And Monty Python proved once and for all that wearing a turban is no barrier to playing top class sport. Apart from swimming, I suppose".
Sue Ryder was equally scathing of those who felt that few British sports stars had achieved much of importance – "that’s just fucking bullshit," said the former tennis dollybird and Cliff Richard shag. "Jenson Buttock was only 78 points away from winning the F1 world championship this year and Darren Clarke’s wife died. This is world class in anyone’s book. And look at Zara Phillips; coming from her background it is incredible that she could be so horsey".
In an exciting development that really demonstrates the depth of British sporting talent, comedian David Baddiel is a contender for the award for managing to float across the channel. Some have suggested that a comedian winning the award would cheapen the event but Gary Lineker is dismissive of such a claim – "in global sporting terms, Baddiel’s swim is up there with anything that has happened in British sport this year. He fully deserves to be in contention for the award. Plus, he’s funny as piss, although not as funny as his fat mate, who is funnier than shite".
While it is true that British sport and entertainment have never been closely aligned, recent trends have seen that relationship change. The England football team’s performance in the World Cup was up there with the very best in comedy and recent England rugby performances have been close to broad farce. Many point to the crossover appeal of sportsmen and women who have moved into celebrity television in increasing numbers as a clear sign that sport is changing. Lineker, a well known user of prostitutes, talked of "the fantastic achievements of Razor Ruddock and Phil Tufnell" in the hit ITV show ‘I’m a Celebrity, Please Kill Me’ as a precursor to comedians moving the other way. "Now that sports stars are moving into celebrity roles, it’s only natural that celebrities will want to get in on the sporting act so Baddiel being up for this prize is just a sign of the changing times". The orange skinned adulterer reckons that "in ten years more than half the contenders for sports personality of the year will be comedians, actors and singers".
While the big guns such as Piddle, Python and Bottom are favourites, coming up on the rails as an outside bet is Bob Cooper who recently won the prestigious Rock, Paper, Scissors World Championship. As the first British RPS World Champion and the only British World Champion at any individual sport, many savvy insiders feel that he is a strong chance to win. Cooper, who trains for 2 hours a day to maintain his elite RPS conditioning, kept his composure in a cauldron-like atmosphere to win with a devestating rock, rock, paper combo sequence in front of a baying crowd of almost 100 to take the title.
The team award is likely to go to the Scottish Stone-Skimming squad although the recent success of the England rugby team against the South African 2nd XV has put them right in the frame as well.
Sue Ryder, looking good from very afar but very far from good, also expressed delight at this year’s Lifetime Achievement Award winner, Tanni Grey-Wheelchair. ‘It’s fantastic and will be the highlight of the evening. For the BBC it really ticks all the PC boxes and will keep mentalists and spackers well happy. Who can forget Tammy’s performances in the Special Olympics?’ These thoughts echo the BBC policy of employing people with a variety of disabilities in key, high profile positions; well known examples of this are football commentator John Motson who suffers from Moron's Disease and Garth Crooks, the popular football interviewer who has fought a long battle against Acute Twatism.
Whoever picks up the coveted awards it promises to be a special evening for British sport, which is in rude health indeed.
posted by sportbitch at 11:16 am
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