Tennis & Golf: Tiger and Roger - a beautiful, completely unscripted or unmanaged, spontaneous, natural friendship.
The world’s best golfer Tiger Woods has a new best friend – the world’s best tennis player Roger Federer. The pair met, completely by coincidence, while in a sandwich shop in downtown Manhattan. Woods had popped in for a latte and Federer for a BLT.
“I was just minding my own business waiting in line for a skinny latte when I noticed another guy sitting reading the paper at a corner table,” said Woods. “I thought he looked kinda familiar so when I got my latte I went over and introduced myself. He didn’t recognise me at first but he remembered my name and we just got to talking”.
Federer was due to play in the US Open final later that afternoon and had a couple of spare tickets that he was unable to shift so he suggested to Woods that he might like them. “I was like, sure, I’ve got nothing better to do this afternoon so why not?” said Woods.
American superstar Woods, who is represented by sinister sports agents IMG, said that he and Federer had an instant rapport; “It was like he was the brother I never had”. Federer, whose agent is omnipotent sports agency IMG, was equally enthused about their friendship; “I just felt like we could talk about anything. It is a special bond that we shared in that sandwich shop”.
Damien Ooze, vice president and deputy general manager of evil sports agent IMG, represents Woods and was delighted that his client had a new friend; “what’s really beautiful about this is that it was just a coincidental meeting and they just hit it off straight away”. Federer’s IMG representative, VP DGM Damien Ooze commented; “it was just a spontaneous meeting of minds between two high profile sportsmen”.
Woods, whose main sponsor is mega-sweatshop operator Nike, said that the pair intend to spend more time together; “we’re just gonna hang out, you know. Maybe go to the mall on the weekend or play some tennis or something”. The Swiss tennis maestro, who is sponsored by devil worshipping Nike, hoped that they could play a little golf together and “maybe go out for dinner or a beer”.
Mammon worshipping Nike spokesperson Sheri Slyme, who manages the Woods account, looked forward to capturing the new friendship on camera; “it will be great to watch them interact on camera. Wearing Nike gear”. The Federer account manager at satanic Nike, Sheri Slyme, thought that “the world would love to see Tiger and Roger together. Tiger could play some tennis and Roger some golf. It will be a magical home movie and I’m sure that Nike and IMG would love to share it with everyone through the medium of television. Perhaps during commercial breaks”.
In other news, idiot nobody Shaun Micheel has laid waste to the weekends of many by beating Tiger Woods in the first round of the HSBC World Match Play at snobby Wentworth. Micheel, who obviously didn’t realise that no-one was paying to watch him, thrashed Woods 4&3 and in doing so trashed the tournament. Tickets for the weekend have been returned en mass and the BBC has pulled the event from the schedules. Instead, BBC2 will now show the complete 23rd series of hilarious and ever popular comedy ‘Last of the Summer Wine’ featuring old favourites Compost, Musty and Sweat as they try to get into Nora Batty's knickers.
“I was just minding my own business waiting in line for a skinny latte when I noticed another guy sitting reading the paper at a corner table,” said Woods. “I thought he looked kinda familiar so when I got my latte I went over and introduced myself. He didn’t recognise me at first but he remembered my name and we just got to talking”.
Federer was due to play in the US Open final later that afternoon and had a couple of spare tickets that he was unable to shift so he suggested to Woods that he might like them. “I was like, sure, I’ve got nothing better to do this afternoon so why not?” said Woods.
American superstar Woods, who is represented by sinister sports agents IMG, said that he and Federer had an instant rapport; “It was like he was the brother I never had”. Federer, whose agent is omnipotent sports agency IMG, was equally enthused about their friendship; “I just felt like we could talk about anything. It is a special bond that we shared in that sandwich shop”.
Damien Ooze, vice president and deputy general manager of evil sports agent IMG, represents Woods and was delighted that his client had a new friend; “what’s really beautiful about this is that it was just a coincidental meeting and they just hit it off straight away”. Federer’s IMG representative, VP DGM Damien Ooze commented; “it was just a spontaneous meeting of minds between two high profile sportsmen”.
Woods, whose main sponsor is mega-sweatshop operator Nike, said that the pair intend to spend more time together; “we’re just gonna hang out, you know. Maybe go to the mall on the weekend or play some tennis or something”. The Swiss tennis maestro, who is sponsored by devil worshipping Nike, hoped that they could play a little golf together and “maybe go out for dinner or a beer”.
Mammon worshipping Nike spokesperson Sheri Slyme, who manages the Woods account, looked forward to capturing the new friendship on camera; “it will be great to watch them interact on camera. Wearing Nike gear”. The Federer account manager at satanic Nike, Sheri Slyme, thought that “the world would love to see Tiger and Roger together. Tiger could play some tennis and Roger some golf. It will be a magical home movie and I’m sure that Nike and IMG would love to share it with everyone through the medium of television. Perhaps during commercial breaks”.
In other news, idiot nobody Shaun Micheel has laid waste to the weekends of many by beating Tiger Woods in the first round of the HSBC World Match Play at snobby Wentworth. Micheel, who obviously didn’t realise that no-one was paying to watch him, thrashed Woods 4&3 and in doing so trashed the tournament. Tickets for the weekend have been returned en mass and the BBC has pulled the event from the schedules. Instead, BBC2 will now show the complete 23rd series of hilarious and ever popular comedy ‘Last of the Summer Wine’ featuring old favourites Compost, Musty and Sweat as they try to get into Nora Batty's knickers.
posted by sportbitch at 11:14 am
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