Golf: Micelle Wie - wie wie wie all the way home.
Having already conquered the ladies PGA tour lanky teen sensation Michelle Wie has turned her attention to the men's game with spectacular results. Arses have been kicked and names taken by Wie, aged 13 and a half, who came in with the highest score of all 152 players after two rounds at the European Masters in Crans Montana, Switzerland. Said Wie, "it's like, fucking amazing, not one fucking man has like, come close to getting as many points as like, me. The fucking par score is like, 71 and I managed to get 8 fucking more than that today and like, 7 fucking more than that yesterday. These men are like, shit, man".
Wie, 7 feet 3 inches tall, put her success down to her inspirational father, BJ. "It's true that he has like, fucking stupid initials but he still chooses to be like, known by them. That takes like, real fucking courage. Mother fucking courage. I mean, most of my friends think that the name BJ Wie sucks but like, he doesn't fucking care. It's just so fucking inspiring. Like".
Many in the ladies game have criticised the gawky prodigy for playing against the men. Long standing LPGA player Betty Fatso's reponse is typical of many; "the jumped up little tart hasn't even won a tournament on the LPGA tour so what makes her think that she can play with men? Most of the ladies on this tour have no interest in playing with men at all. We would all much rather play with each other. And anyway, I don't think that any of the men would ever want to play with any of us." Hard to argue with that, Ms Fatso.
Young Wie, who has fired 6 caddies since 2004, is unrepentant however. Responding to Ms Fatso's comments she said, "she can go like, fuck herself. Fat fucking cow". When asked whether Wie could ever win a men's event, homo Spaniard Sergio Garcia thought not, "she couldn't beat my arse" said the Iberian fudge-nudger while kicking back with a gin fizz at the gaybar.
The pre-pubescent Hawaiian has played in 10 men's events now and missed the cut at 9 of them. Even monster she-beast Laura Davies failed with the men so perhaps fans would prefer to watch the shapely Wie playing with ladies? Maybe so but Michelle isn't giving up. "No fucking way. I'm going to be getting bigger scores than these men for years to come".
Wie, 7 feet 3 inches tall, put her success down to her inspirational father, BJ. "It's true that he has like, fucking stupid initials but he still chooses to be like, known by them. That takes like, real fucking courage. Mother fucking courage. I mean, most of my friends think that the name BJ Wie sucks but like, he doesn't fucking care. It's just so fucking inspiring. Like".
Many in the ladies game have criticised the gawky prodigy for playing against the men. Long standing LPGA player Betty Fatso's reponse is typical of many; "the jumped up little tart hasn't even won a tournament on the LPGA tour so what makes her think that she can play with men? Most of the ladies on this tour have no interest in playing with men at all. We would all much rather play with each other. And anyway, I don't think that any of the men would ever want to play with any of us." Hard to argue with that, Ms Fatso.
Young Wie, who has fired 6 caddies since 2004, is unrepentant however. Responding to Ms Fatso's comments she said, "she can go like, fuck herself. Fat fucking cow". When asked whether Wie could ever win a men's event, homo Spaniard Sergio Garcia thought not, "she couldn't beat my arse" said the Iberian fudge-nudger while kicking back with a gin fizz at the gaybar.
The pre-pubescent Hawaiian has played in 10 men's events now and missed the cut at 9 of them. Even monster she-beast Laura Davies failed with the men so perhaps fans would prefer to watch the shapely Wie playing with ladies? Maybe so but Michelle isn't giving up. "No fucking way. I'm going to be getting bigger scores than these men for years to come".
posted by sportbitch at 2:16 pm
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